Raising Children in Times of War: What to Say, What to Shield

What to teach, say, and do when war headlines enter your home

When war becomes the backdrop of dinner conversations, children are listening. Maybe not to the specifics, but to the tension in your voice, the words they don’t understand, and the silences that follow. You don’t need to pretend everything’s okay. You need to help them navigate what it means when everything isn't.

Here’s what matters:

1.Teach emotional literacy early

Children should learn to name their feelings. “Are you feeling confused?” “Scared?” “Angry?” Name it for them. When a child can articulate fear, they’re no longer trapped by it. War, or any crisis, is less terrifying when the emotion has language.

2. Don’t over-explain. Ground them in what is real for them

A seven-year-old doesn’t need to understand geopolitics. They need to know: school is open tomorrow, dinner is on time, and their family is together. Safety lies in routine. Give it to them.

3. Say this clearly: “You are safe. We are together.”

Don’t ramble. That one sentence, spoken calmly, anchors a child. Repeat it. And mean it.

4. Use global conflict as a mirror, not a monster.

Ask: What does this teach us about anger? About misunderstanding? About leaders not listening to each other? This is how children learn values—not just history.

5. Filter their media diet—like you’d filter their food.

Children don’t need unedited footage, graphic images, or sensational news blasts. Watch privately. Explain selectively. Don’t let the news parent your child.

6. Model calm, not false optimism.

Children see through fake smiles. You can say, “This is hard for me too. But we can talk about it.” Strength is honest. Not performative.

7. Give them one thing to do.

Draw a peace poster. Write a card. Light a candle. When children feel helpless, small actions give them agency. That matters deeply.

8. Avoid the language of hate. Always.

“This country is bad,” “They deserve it,” “They’re all the same”—kids absorb this, and carry it into their friendships, beliefs, and futures. Teach them to be angry without being cruel.

9. If they ask, “Can war happen here?” — answer like this:

“It’s very unlikely. And even if there are problems, there are people whose whole job is to keep us safe—like police, doctors, and soldiers. And my job is to take care of you.”

10. Remind them of the constants.

Even in uncertain times, some things don’t change. Dogs still bark. Trees still bloom. Friends still laugh. They need to hear this. Because to a child, continuity is comfort.