Who Are We Trying to Impress… a Spiritual Reflection

Let’s be honest. Most of us, at some point, have fallen into the trap of performing — not on a stage, but in our everyday lives. We speak a certain way, dress to fit in or stand out, and post curated snapshots of our lives online. We say it’s ambition, that we’re driven. But if we’re being real, a quiet question often lingers beneath it all: Who are we really trying to impress?

It’s not an easy question. Because sometimes, the answer is uncomfortable. Maybe it’s someone from our past — a parent, a teacher, an ex who made us feel like we were never quite enough. Maybe it’s society, or the imaginary version of ourselves that we’ve built in our heads — the one who has it all figured out. And maybe, just maybe, it’s strangers on the internet who don’t even know our real names.

The more you sit with it, the more absurd it feels. Why are we measuring our self-worth through the eyes of others? Why are we letting people who don't walk our path dictate how we walk it?

We chase likes, approval, praise. And yet, it often feels like a bottomless pit. No compliment ever quite satisfies. No milestone ever fully quiets the doubt. That’s because what we’re really yearning for isn't recognition — it’s meaning.

It’s Not About Being Seen. It’s About Being Understood.

Being seen is one thing. It’s the image we present, the version of ourselves that looks good from the outside. But being understood? That’s something else entirely. That means letting people see the parts we usually hide: the fears, the failures, the quiet hopes we don’t say out loud.

One evening, I was at a dinner party where everyone seemed to have their life together. Jobs, partners, travel stories. I remember smiling, nodding, playing along. But across the table was someone who simply said, "I’m struggling to keep it all together." In that moment, something shifted. The masks dropped. We talked. Really talked. That’s what it means to be understood.

The Cost of Constant Comparison

Scrolling through social media is like watching a highlight reel of everyone else’s best days while sitting in the middle of your worst. We see someone’s vacation, someone’s new home, someone’s picture-perfect family, and we start to feel like we’re falling behind.

I once heard a teenager say, "I feel like I’m already a failure because I’m not famous by 18." It broke my heart. We’ve created a world where worth is tied to visibility, not values. And in that space, trying to impress others can mean losing ourselves.

So What Are We Giving Back?

Let’s flip the lens. Life isn’t just about what we collect, but about what we contribute. So, what are we giving back?

Giving back doesn’t need an audience. It doesn’t need to be loud. A friend who listens without judgment. A stranger who offers help without expectation. A colleague who quietly mentors others without seeking credit.

There’s a man in my building who leaves food and water out for stray animals every morning. No one asked him to. Most people don’t even notice. But that’s impact.

True giving is often invisible.

The Quiet Impact

It’s the teacher who notices a child is unusually quiet and checks in after class. It’s the friend who remembers your important date and sends a message just to say, "I’m thinking of you." It’s the neighbour who brings food when they know you’re sick.

These aren’t gestures made for attention. They’re made from compassion. And these are the moments people remember when everything else fades.

The Shift from Impressing to Expressing

What if we stopped trying to impress, and started trying to express?

To express our truth, our flaws, our stories. To live in a way that reflects who we are — not who we’re expected to be.

When we do that, we stop competing and start connecting. We find ourselves drawn to people not because of their polish, but because of their honesty.

Coming Back to Ourselves

The most profound journey we can take is inward. To ask ourselves: what do I value? What brings me peace? What makes me proud of the person I am becoming?

There’s a quiet power in living honestly. Not for applause. Not for praise. Just for peace.

So the next time you find yourself caught in the loop of trying to impress, pause. Ask yourself: Who is this for? And is it costing me more than it’s giving me?

Because when the lights dim, and the noise fades, what will remain is not how well you performed, but how deeply you lived. What you gave. Who you loved. How you made others feel.

Live for that.

Because how we show up will always matter more than how we’re seen.

(All the views expressed are of Shweta, a certified NLP coach with a deep love for exploring spirituality and the true meaning of life. Her reflections arise from personal insight and a lifelong curiosity about inner growth, karmic patterns, and the quiet power of awareness.)